Monday, February 18, 2013

What Comes Next?

So, I have never done one of these link up things before. But I figured I would give it a whirl.  Becky of From Mrs to Mama is sponsoring a Women Connect writing link up today. And I love the idea of promoting writing and giving voices to women.  I thought that my story may be a little different from the others in the link up, as someone who isn't a mama.  Someone who is unmarried. Someone who is a little unsure of the next step.  Someone who has been feeling untethered lately.  


A lot of my readers already know the gist this story ... but here goes.  

I have heard different variations of the pillars theory.  They all pretty much explain that there are several columns supporting one's life: romance, family, friendship, home, work and health.  And let's just say January was a hurricane that flooded my foundation and shook it to its core.  

A) My boyfriend moved for grad school.  B) My grandmother who was not extended family and was the inspiration for my blog passed away. C) I stayed at home with my parents to help pick up the pieces, which while good for so many reasons also felt lonely. D) I didn't step foot in my apartment 90 miles from my parents' home for one month. So squirrels took it over. Yes, I literally fought a squirrel with a broom in a turf war over my kitchen. I won? But did I really?  E) I was working on a grant that ended in December. Originally, I was planning on moving in January to start my big, shiny job search.  But my apartment hunting trip got cancelled the day Oma had her stroke. F) One hand splint, one flu and one strep in one haunting month. 

When it rains it pours. 

But, here is what I haven't quite shared yet.  Things get better. 

No, I haven't found the perfect job or apartment yet. And I still miss Oma a lot. But, I feel optimistic.  I am on a trip right now visiting my boyfriend — who is just as wonderful and supportive as ever.   I just completed some freelance writing assignments, one ended with a huge professional milestone. And, I am planning on job hunting in an exciting, new city next week.  

January 2013 was big test. And though I am not sure if I passed, I learned a lot.  

I learned that as time passes and friends visit, things feel a little lighter.  I learned what it was like for my entire family to go move on together.

I learned that I will think of Oma everyday, and that isn't a sad thing. Because loving someone forever is a very beautiful thing.  

I am no longer a girl on the verge ... I am a girl on the verge of something big.  

But, what comes next?  

Not knowing isn't so scary anymore.  It's actually pretty exciting. 

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